I'm happy to present my fellow bard's rap debut! Joe "RenoHex" King (who also wrote Scan Shorty) rewrote these lyrics to the beat of Remember the Name by Fort Minor. He also took up the challenge of rapping Percy's verses in the song! Scanlan gets to sing as often as he wants, so this song instead features Percy, Grog, and Vax rapping about brutal critical damage and trickshots. The lyrics can be found on reddit here and the mp3 can be downloaded here, and the Youtube video can be found here.
You ready? Let's go!
For those of you who want to know what this party's all about,
It's like this y'all!
This is 10% Luck,
15% extra dice when barbarian crits,
5% money but 50% soul,
and a 100% reason to remember the Role! [/CHORUS]
He's not in this for glory or fame,
He just wants to be protecting his sister – and his dame,
He feels so unlike everybody else, alone,
In spite of the advice that he got from the gnome
Well Vax 'em, he'll slit some throats
Then walk away angrily,
'Cause now he's serving Raven Queen,
Leave others to gloat
That's how it goes, making sure the party stays up,
And that means if he's going down, Grog's picking it up! Let's go!
Grog: Who the hell is he anyway? He never really talks much,
But his hammer and greatsword leave enemies starstruck
Humbled by life but keeping it private
'Cause many misjudge him for being a goliath
Put himself back together, and now it's all coming back,
With a little help from his friends he'll command the herds respect,
In matters of tactics and strategy Professor Grog is the smartest,
And when it comes to violence he's an unmatched artist!
Percy: This is 20% skills, 80% crit,
It 100% fits, cause Percy gets kills,
Who would've thought he'd be the one to set Westruun in flames
And now he's running with Vox Machina, that's the name of the game
He came back, dropped Briarwoods, took them to church,
Yeah, the guns are cool, but why you have the stupidest verse?
This man plays with fire, always dodging his karma
Next thing you know he'll be fucking with Vecna!
Percy: They call him Percival Frede-
Rickstein von Musel
Klossowski de Rolo III he's hot
Hired to Vox Machina with Grog
He's a real annihilist porcupine,
He's a prick, he's a cock,
The type that giggles blowing up his friends with well-placed trickshots
Three years in the making, patiently waiting to blow,
But now there once again is a de Rolo in Whitestone,
He's got a partner in crime, his shit is equally dope,
You won't believe the shit that can come from a goliath throat!
Grog: Grog! - He's not your garden variety thug,
He knows how to work with what he's got,
Taking people down from the top.
He often gets a comment on his name
People keep asking was it given at birth
Or does it stand for the alcohol – No
Shit's crazy pure, and you can rest assured,
He'll get you hammered, hung over, and there's no miracle cure.
Him and his party are known around as the absolute best,
Dedicated to what they do and give a hundred percent.
Vax: Forget Vax,
Nobody really knows how or why he broods so hard
It seems like he'll run out of time
Because he springs every trap and he trips every mine
And you can't even see him when that light goes on in his mind
It's like he's just trying to sneak off in a corner and die
He's looking for death, because love he did not find
And when his sister fell, that deal that he signed?
Ridiculous, without even crying,
Why did he do it?
Percival de Rolo the Third!
... And I walk away.