So I woke up this morning with every intention of doing some school work. Instead, I saw this thread on reddit and decided to record it immediately. I wanted to put it out there asap, in anticipation/celebration of the big fight. Also, because I'm terrified that everyone's gonna die. Please don't kill them, Matt. Anyways, because of this, the audio is extra crappy this time! Enjoy!
But seriously, /u/QuintonBeck made this post on reddit, kickstarting the writing of these lyrics. He later edited them to include phrases from /u/omg_really and /u/Rezyk to really flesh out the insanity. I added a couple lines to finish out the song. They did a stellar job. Thanks for a wonderful morning, fellow redditers. As always, the free download can be found above, the lyrics are on the original reddit thread here, and the youtube video is here.
The original song is called The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, by Lemon Demon. I also highly recommend The Mouth Trilogy, which comes from the same insane mind.
New god Vecna was hopping around
Vasselheim city like a big playground
When suddenly Vaxildan burst from the shade
And hit that lich with a whispering blade
Vecna got pissed and skipped his dialogue
But didn't expect to get blocked by Grog
Who proceeded to let the Sword of Kas shine through
While Vex's arrow came out of the blue
And they started to think that they just might win
When Disintegration hit one of the twins
But before Pike could cast revivify
A spell made Rockleth solidify
And a Legendary action was triggered right then
And Scanlan 2 lost all of his skin
But Vecna was out of actions so he flew away
Because the Raven Queen's champion was back to save the day
This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny.
The S.H.I.Ts, Vecna and a Titan as tall as the eye can see.
We pray that they will survive -- could Matt kill this family?
Vox Machina's final showdown, may Exandria be free.
Credit: u/tincheck Vecna took a hit out of Percival's gun
But Grog Strongjaw wasn't to be outdone
And jumped on the back of Trinket and laughed
As Scanlan turned the ursine to a dragon of brass
And Vax was injured and flat on his back
When Silas Briarwood came back with an ax
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Cuz Keyleth used her grasping vines like a whip
Then she saw Vecna sneaking up from behind
And she reached for her staff which she just couldn't find
Because Silas stole it and he tried to cast lightning
But was thrown off by his very poor timing
Cuz the titan's foot landed and the lightning bolt missed
And Percy punched him in the face with a diplomatic fist
And Vexahlia laughed, but they both went silent
When they saw Vecna polymorph into a fire giant!
Light broke through the black smoke and thick soot
.. Out from a blind spot charged Pike Trickfoot
.. Who swung a mace that shone like the sun
.. Into the crotch of the Whispered One
.. He fell to the ground, but summoned his forces
.. Teleporting in an army of corpses
.. But Pike stood firm despite this surprise
.. And she sent divine words calling for allies
Then Taryon Darrington and Thorbir Falbek
and that old blacksmith from Westruun, Kerrek
and Lillith Daturai and fearsome Zahra
Chod, Garthok, Lyra and bear-form Tova
Sprigg, Shale, Ashkan and savory Kashaw
Ghostfist and Gern Blanston with his every last thrall
Kingston LaForge and Jayne Merriweather
Gryffin, Clothesline and Frankfurt together
All came out of nowhere lightning fast
and they kicked that army in their undead ass
And the fight raged on for an eternity
Every epic skill unleashed, until finally
The last one standing, amidst all the rubble:
Scanlan Shorthalt in a hamster bubble
If others wish to continue please do so and I'll add my favorites. Gotta get back to work but couldn't let this stay in my head.