Scanlan album cover.png

So I woke up this morning with every intention of doing some school work.  Instead, I saw this thread on reddit and decided to record it immediately.  I wanted to put it out there asap, in anticipation/celebration of the big fight.  Also, because I'm terrified that everyone's gonna die.  Please don't kill them, Matt.  Anyways, because of this, the audio is extra crappy this time!  Enjoy! 

But seriously, /u/QuintonBeck made this post on reddit, kickstarting the writing of these lyrics.  He later edited them to include phrases from /u/omg_really and /u/Rezyk to really flesh out the insanity.  I added a couple lines to finish out the song.  They did a stellar job.  Thanks for a wonderful morning, fellow redditers.  As always, the free download can be found above, the lyrics are on the original reddit thread here, and the youtube video is here.  

The original song is called The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, by Lemon Demon.  I also highly recommend The Mouth Trilogy, which comes from the same insane mind. 


New god Vecna was hopping around

Vasselheim city like a big playground

When suddenly Vaxildan burst from the shade

And hit that lich with a whispering blade

Vecna got pissed and skipped his dialogue

But didn't expect to get blocked by Grog

Who proceeded to let the Sword of Kas shine through

While Vex's arrow came out of the blue

And they started to think that they just might win

When Disintegration hit one of the twins

But before Pike could cast revivify

A spell made Rockleth solidify

And a Legendary action was triggered right then

And Scanlan 2 lost all of his skin

But Vecna was out of actions so he flew away

Because the Raven Queen's champion was back to save the day

Credit: u/omg_really

This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny.

The S.H.I.Ts, Vecna and a Titan as tall as the eye can see.

We pray that they will survive -- could Matt kill this family?

Vox Machina's final showdown, may Exandria be free.

Credit: u/tincheck Vecna took a hit out of Percival's gun

But Grog Strongjaw wasn't to be outdone

And jumped on the back of Trinket and laughed

As Scanlan turned the ursine to a dragon of brass

And Vax was injured and flat on his back

When Silas Briarwood came back with an ax

But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped

Cuz Keyleth used her grasping vines like a whip

Then she saw Vecna sneaking up from behind

And she reached for her staff which she just couldn't find

Because Silas stole it and he tried to cast lightning

But was thrown off by his very poor timing

Cuz the titan's foot landed and the lightning bolt missed

And Percy punched him in the face with a diplomatic fist

And Vexahlia laughed, but they both went silent

When they saw Vecna polymorph into a fire giant!

Credit: u/Rezyk

Light broke through the black smoke and thick soot

.. Out from a blind spot charged Pike Trickfoot

.. Who swung a mace that shone like the sun

.. Into the crotch of the Whispered One

.. He fell to the ground, but summoned his forces

.. Teleporting in an army of corpses

.. But Pike stood firm despite this surprise

.. And she sent divine words calling for allies

Then Taryon Darrington and Thorbir Falbek

and that old blacksmith from Westruun, Kerrek

and Lillith Daturai and fearsome Zahra

Chod, Garthok, Lyra and bear-form Tova

Sprigg, Shale, Ashkan and savory Kashaw

Ghostfist and Gern Blanston with his every last thrall

Kingston LaForge and Jayne Merriweather

Gryffin, Clothesline and Frankfurt together

All came out of nowhere lightning fast

and they kicked that army in their undead ass

Credit: u/Rezyk

And the fight raged on for an eternity

Every epic skill unleashed, until finally

The last one standing, amidst all the rubble:

Scanlan Shorthalt in a hamster bubble

If others wish to continue please do so and I'll add my favorites. Gotta get back to work but couldn't let this stay in my head.